Have you been missing '80s fitness guru Richard Simmons, and his always-chipper, upbeat attitude? Don't worry, he's back, in the form of New Zealand Airlines's new in-flight safety video spokes-dancer, of all ridiculous things. I guess if the idea here was to get flyers to actually pay attention to the in-flight video, whether they know who Richard Simmons is or not, mission accomplished! But when Richard gets to the morbid, "in case of emergency" stuff, the video starts to resemble a bad "SNL" sketch more than anything: Lines like, "Okay, now for the recommended brace positions..." make it clear why celebrities have so far not flocked to the combination quick-payday-and-captive -audience that in-flight safety videos provide. While Simmons isn't the first—John Travolta was memorably booed for his recent video for Australia's Qantas Airlines, Travolta merely introduced the video and didn't explain the scary stuff himself. It remains to be seen whether this kind of thing will fly (sorry) with U.S. airline customers, but personally speaking I would take almost any celebrity over the dreaded Delta lady. Seriously, I would take Carrot Top. I would welcome Ryan Seacrest. I wouldn't mind if the last voices I heard before my death were those of the entire Kardashian clan, just please anyone but the Delta lady. It's been three years! Three years is enough of this:
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